Things I’m Not Eating Anymore – Italian Hoagies

Somehow, I continue to get older.

It happens to the best of us, but lately I’ve been more cognizant of time’s persistent machinations. And I have to say, as someone who doesn’t particularly enjoy mystery body pains… not a fan.

I like to think of time as a manager at a major corporation and I’m a blue-collar worker at the same company. I’m in a constant struggle with management to maintain my current standard of living. Unfortunately, corporate repeatedly brings me back to the bargaining table to haggle over benefits I thought I had clearly won in our last round of talks. And, as it turns out, I’m the world’s worst union rep.

“Okay, you can replace 50 percent of my hair with a non-flattering gray mish-mash, but I get three more years of a solid jump shot at Saturday morning basketball. No? Okay, how about you take 80 percent of the hair color, but I’ll still be able to run up and down the court for everything but fast breaks? No? Okay, you can have all of the hair color but I won’t pull my hamstring within the first four minutes of play, but that’s our final offer!”

There is something all parties are in full agreement on though. If I stubbornly insist on aging, but also want to continue doing a lot of the things I enjoy, there needs to be, quite literally, less of me around. And while I get plenty of exercise, there seems to be more of me around than ever. Which leads us to reason for this blog post.

In an effort to eat less like the lovechild of Paula Deen and Guy Fieri, I’m trying to cut back on calories and focus on eating a little bit healthier to meet exercise halfway in this “less of me” endeavor. That means saying farewell to some long-standing favorites. Each week month quarter I’ll be memorializing a foodstuff by working on a photograph of a delicacy I’m trying to cut down on.

While the title of the posts use the more definitive word “anymore,” I want to be realistic. I’ll probably be eating some of these foods more responsibly again in the future, but we’re saying goodbye for now. It’s more of a “see you later.”  Akin to the “see you later” you use for that annoying neighbor you only run into once a month when you’re in line at the pharmacy.

I’m hoping this project will serve two purposes. First, to keep me on track and focused on eating better, and second to create a fun little creative photography project to work on each week month quarter. To be clear, I won’t be demonizing the foods that will be featured here. I love them all. We’re just not going to be hanging out as much anymore.

It’s not you favorite foods, it’s me.  

So without further ado, let’s move on to our first cast-off:

The Italian Hoagie

This is a Mount Rushmore food for me, but before we bid it a fond farewell, let’s take a moment to talk about just how awesome the Italian hoagie is. There’s nothing tastier than thinly sliced deli meats piled high on a freshly baked sub roll, accompanied by a healthy dose of crisp lettuce, tangy onions, flavorful tomatoes, and topped off with a nicely-balanced oil and vinegar-based sauce.

Name just one thing that’s better, I’ll wait.

One of my fondest childhood memories is devouring my designated Italian sub during a Phillies game leading into their 4^th of July fireworks spectacular. Back in those days, the Vet used to let you bring in your own coolers and my Mom would pack a rolling igloo chock-full of hoagies she made in our family-owned restaurant the night before. Summertime perfection.

To wrap up, I’d like to extend a quick shout out to some of the fine establishments who served me some of my favorite Italian hoagies over the years:

• Talarico’s Sandwich Shop in Boyertown, PA (RIP) – My personal GOAT sandwich. When I found out Talarico’s closed it was like losing a family member, and not a second-rate relative like a third cousin either. It was more like your second favorite uncle passed, the one who told you all the good dirty jokes at Thanksgiving.
• Bruno’s in Lititz, PA – Great hard rolls and top-notch lettuce, onion, tomato dice mix.
• Lee’s Hoagie House in Stone Harbor, NJ – My current leader in the clubhouse. Every element is perfectly balanced. I literally look forward to this more than anything else at the beach, which is kind of sad actually.
• Mike Schmidt’s Philadelphia Hoagies (RIP) – For a chain that failed pretty quickly, it provided a healthy amount of thinly sliced cold cuts piled high for a perfect bread to meat ratio.
• G&G Grocery in Lancaster, PA (RIP) – Great corner store sub, but the premises’ general state of disrepair made you not want to think too hard about their adherence to food safety standards.

Check out the other things I’m not eating any more.