Things I’m Not Eating Anymore – Breakfast Sandwiches

I’ve never been much of a breakfast person, but I can say with certainty that the construction of a Dunkin’ Donuts* in my hometown was probably one of the bigger setbacks to my health in recent years.

To say I have a complicated history with this particular chain, might be an understatement. So let’s start from the beginning.

I began my flirtation with breakfast sandwiches in the early days of my working life as a quick way to get a bite to eat before my commute. The Sheetz’s Shmuffin (imagine a McDonald’s Egg McMuffin if it were slightly depressed) was my gateway sandwich for a short time before I moved to Connecticut. My relocation to the nutmeg state left me searching for a breakfast that could provide a similar flavor and satiation profile. I didn’t have to look for long.

In New England, there is a regional ordinance that requires an installation of at least one package store and one Dunkin’ Donuts location every 1.6 square miles. Because of D.D.’s omnipresence, it wasn’t long before I was exposed to the wonder that was:

The Sausage Egg & Cheese Sandwich on an Everything Bagel

In a single calorie-dense package, Dunkin’ Donuts’ sausage egg and cheese bagel sandwich delivered everything I was looking for in meal: salt, protein, carbohydrates, and cheese. Literally what else is there? And it was warm, oh so warm. As you polished it off, you could just feel its nurturing power girding you against the frigid New England winter. It was like eating a ray of sunshine out of a pink and orange paper wrapper.

When we moved back to Pennsylvania, and Lititz in particular, I was relieved that the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts was not super-convenient to our new home base. Feeding my addiction to savory sandwich goodness would require a trip well out of my way. That inconvenience alone helped keep my consumption of this particular vice in check. Unfortunately, ever encroaching franchise expansion cares little for the expansion of my waistline, and soon enough there was a certain donut-pushing restaurant erected just a few scant miles from my house.

And while the employees at this new franchise are some of the friendliest I’ve ever met, and the sandwiches are as tasty as ever, it’s time the sausage egg and cheese and I part ways. But please don’t be sad Dunkin’.

We’ll always have Connecticut.

* I won’t be referring to Dunkin’ Donuts or Twitter with their new abbreviated names no matter how much the marketing departments of fast food chains or unhinged billionaires want me too.

“Things I’m Not Eating Anymore” is a photography project that I hope will also serve as motivation to improve my health and eating habits. You can read the first post in this series that does a better job of explaining all that, here.